tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77736208947361502272024-02-21T00:22:55.249-08:00Stirring up the Nestjennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.comBlogger58125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-17932768303892854272015-06-11T13:58:00.001-07:002015-06-11T14:22:03.121-07:00Honeysuckles" ooooo mommy, can I get one more honeysuckle before we go?" Thomas races up the little hill toward our garden. <div><br></div><div>Last spring I uprooted a honeysuckle plant growing deep into the woods behind our house and planted it along our fence so my children could have an easier access to these little trumpets of sweetness. Nearly every morning Emma Faye and Thomas run out to sip a bit before we start our day. It brings such sweet memories of my childhood when I smell their delicious aroma. I used to love honeysuckles. </div><div><br></div><div>I've been thinking about honeysuckles a lot lately. Actually, I've been thinking about a lot of things since my dad's cancer diagnosis. Moments suddenly become more precious; time becomes invaluable. Little inconvenient issues become really not big deals. How just a drop of sweet can bring such delight.</div><div><br></div><div>When faced with unknown futures and worry and fear, it's hard to look past this day. So I try to stay in the day I've been given. This now. Now, my daddy feels healthy. Now, we are at the beach together. Now. Is. A. Gift.</div><div><br></div><div>"Take every thought captive to obey Christ" 2 Corinthians 10:5, says.</div><div><br></div><div>What does this mean for me? It means I grab hold of the worry and fear and believe that Christ will supply the grace and strength for these WHEN I NEED it! But I don't need it now. Now, I need little graces. Sleep. Patience with my children. Kindness towards my husband. A clear path of treatment for my Daddy. Grace and peace for my mom. He is faithful and He sustains under any hardship. I drink small doses of it. Grace from His vine. Beautiful, sweet drops of nourishment. Daily bread. Even the smallest amount is sustaining. I look for it everywhere. A sunset. Sweet conversation with a friend. An act of kindness. A moment with loved ones. A restful sleep. Today, it was honeysuckles.</div><div><br></div><div>I am interrupted of this very thought by my own little honeysuckle. </div><div><br></div><div>"Mommy, if Butterscotch has some baby bunnies with like that honey color, let's name him Honeysuckle. Don't you think that would be a great name?" Emma Faye yells from the honeysuckle bush.</div><div><br></div><div>I chuckle... Because Jesus is so sweet like this. He hears our hearts.</div><div><br></div><div>"Yes, sweet girl. I think that would be a really great name," I reply.</div><div><br></div><div>A few weeks later.......</div><div> </div><div> ....... Another sweet gift......</div><div> "Honeysuckle"</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMpmeVpJX2pyj6xenIP2kh-gB5S1sGOUwmh05X7XbFSRl4ZSOeHcG77oLyy0BrD42m0OWUwX5J3WWJMEHr1pdU44q5JVU2yBXEoO6D44jiGjEg0UkTQiVhhNtBG1MnmuGfBANfEkuZphs/s640/blogger-image-1266803151.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMpmeVpJX2pyj6xenIP2kh-gB5S1sGOUwmh05X7XbFSRl4ZSOeHcG77oLyy0BrD42m0OWUwX5J3WWJMEHr1pdU44q5JVU2yBXEoO6D44jiGjEg0UkTQiVhhNtBG1MnmuGfBANfEkuZphs/s640/blogger-image-1266803151.jpg"></a></div></div><div><br></div>jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-17734328995684005652014-06-28T11:59:00.001-07:002014-06-28T12:14:52.595-07:00Sun FuzziesI remember a few years ago, my daughter was playing outside and noticed one of those little dandelion weed things that look like a fluffy, fuzzy little cotton ball on a stem. You know what I am talking about. We ALL know. We pluck them and blow hard and watch all of the little white specks dance in the wind and we smile and we see how many puffs of air it takes to knock them all off. At least that is how my family plays the game. My little girl has called them "Sun Fuzzies" since I can remember. And since she coined that phrase, that is what they have been. I continue to call them that. I love that title. I love her heart. I was recently reminded of those sweet little balls of joy during a conversation I had with a dear friend discussing the heartbreak of severed relationships. Sometimes change brings great sadness. Moving in different directions can be a hard and painful work without a proper perspective.<br>
<br>
<b><i>"Now the Lord said to Abram, "Go forth from your country, and from your relatives and from your father's house, to the land which I will show you;" Genesis 12:1</i></b><br>
<b><i><br></i></b>
It's hard, but it's good. Throughout scripture the Lord scatters and moves His people around; in and out of cities and in and out of relationships. We see this often in Paul's letters. We see this in the books of the Gospels. God is sovereign over it all. Oftentimes, I interpret unexpected and unwanted change as a being "pushed out". I view it as cruel, perhaps even neglect from my Heavenly Father. Yet, in all actuality, it is really a being "pulled in". Pulled in towards His heart... HIS will for me... a turning of the page in my story He has written. Why? Because He loves us so much. It can be nothing other than a kindness. I don't understand all of that. I just need to "plant" my heart into His truth. That NEVER changes. And His truth is that it ALL is for my good...and that His love for me stretches as far as the east is from the west. Therefore, I can loosen my grip on that friendship that has become estranged. I can pack my bags and boxes and set out to live in a new city. I can uproot from the familiar soil I so desperately cling to. My own dirt. My own security. My unbelief that He will truly guide me <i style="font-weight: bold;">to the land which I will show you. </i>And most importantly, that <b>His land</b> is actually good and <i>best</i> for me....and I can <b><u>GO forth.</u></b><br>
<b><u><br></u></b>
Afterall, isn't that what Jesus commanded us to do before He left? <br>
<br>
<b><i>"Go therefore......." Matthew 28:19</i></b><br>
<b><i><br></i></b>
Just as He created time frames of days and hours and seasons. Just as He specifically outlined seashores and skylines. He has framed our very lives. <i>[Our] time[s] are in Your hand</i>. Psalm 31:15. I am learning to see the beauty in the <i style="font-weight: bold;">going.</i> Afterall, those sun fuzzies sure do look more magical twirling and spinning in the breeze than frozen stiff in the ground. So, too, the Body of Christ, loosening their grips and wholeheartedly trusting themselves to the love and direction at the hand of their Lord. <br>
<br>Where will His breeze send you?<br>
<br>jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-66326720476559782362014-02-17T14:07:00.001-08:002014-02-17T14:16:27.913-08:00waiting in the mudholeMy backyard is a mudhole. It's been rained through, snowed down, and iced over. It's a mudhole now. The grass is trampled under dog's feet and children's toes. The game of fetch. The hide and seek race. The bicycles down the hill. It's a mudhole. I keep asking my husband if it's ruined. If we managed to take our beautiful new yard that was kept so immaculately by it's previous owners, and we just trampled on it and killed it all. He continues to reassure me it isn't dead. It hasn't been destroyed. Afterall, all of the rain and water is actually great for this winter lawn. It's soaked deep down and the slosh remaining up along the surface is no reflection of the growth underneath...<i>waiting to sprout.</i><div><i><br></i></div><div>Such is our lives these days. We have been in a season of great weather. It has rained hard and snowed us in and iced us over. Somewhere between the tears and the trials, I am left somewhat of a soggy mudhole myself.</div><div><br></div><div>But I am reminded of Spring. I am reminded of the underneath <i>waiting to sprout.</i> I am reminded that what is presently seen is no reflection of what is to come. What is <i>waiting</i> to come. And that the weather has not been a tool of destruction, but a source of nourishment. To nourish that which is to come.</div><div><br></div><div>I'm okay with this. I'll wait some more. Because I know as sure as the sun continues to shine, the seasons continue to change. I know that because it's winter, Spring is on it's way. I know this. It's coming. The ice is thawing and souls are being watered.... <i>hope is in the waiting....faith is in the knowing. </i></div><div><i><br></i></div><div>Thank you, Jesus... that in this moment, you have given me both.</div>jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-33062409387866128872014-02-06T19:07:00.001-08:002014-02-06T19:55:41.927-08:00Sacred Years<div><b>At the time the disciples came to Jesus and said, "Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" and He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, "Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me.. (Matthew 18:1-5)</b></div><div><br></div><div>Today was a long day. Nothing really different. Just maybe too many of the "same" kind of days, one right after the other. I am weary. I must keep strong. There's the schoolwork, the housework, the "dinner" work.... Our children do a lot of chores which helps, but there is still and always more to do... more and more. I keep reminding myself that one day I will miss this craziness. I know I will and I am so thankful I am aware of it now. This is a gift of the Spirit. It stops me in mid task and compels me to reach for a hug from that little cowboy running past me with a sword. It stops me from answering with a quick, "no" when as soon as I crack an egg.. the footsteps skip through the kitchen, "ooo.. can I help you cook, Mama?" It helps me be okay with, "I want to stoke the fire" while embers and ash are scattering all over my floor.</div><div><br></div><div>My oldest turns ten this month. I have been a mother for almost a decade, now. These are and have been sacred years. Jesus knows just how sacred they are...but not in that we, as parents, must make best use of our time to pour into THEM (which is still very important, don't get me wrong).....but that we, as parents, must make the best use of the time we have with our children and their influence as they pour into US. <i>..whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me...</i></div><div><br></div><div>yes, sacred years.</div><div><i><b><br></b></i></div><div><i><b>Six Years Old -jp</b></i></div><div><i><b><br></b></i></div><i>six years old</i><div><i>brown eyes, wavy hair</i></div><div><i>dancing around</i></div><div><i>with the dandelions...not a care</i></div><div><i>lying in the grass staring up at the bright blue sky</i></div><div><i><br></i></div><div><i>she's too young to learn what "pretty is"</i></div><div><i>old enough to know just who she is</i></div><div><i>and that she is..right. where. she. belongs.</i></div><div><i><br></i></div><div><i>every day a treasure</i></div><div><i>every day adventure</i></div><div><i><br></i></div><div><i>oh, to see life through these eyes</i></div><div><i>oh, to see life through these eyes</i></div><div><i>oh, the beauty to behold</i></div><div><i>when I grow up.....</i></div><div><i> I want to be six years old.</i></div><div><i><br></i></div><div><i><br></i></div><div><i>six years old</i></div><div><i>ball cap on his head</i></div><div><i>hanging real close</i></div><div><i>because that's what his mother said</i></div><div><i>while he's running through the back woods</i></div><div><i>with nothing but his trusty dog</i></div><div><i><br></i></div><div><i>he's too young to have a fear of failure</i></div><div><i>old enough to crave a little danger</i></div><div><i>because that's what keeps him brave</i></div><div><i>and what makes him strong</i></div><div><i><br></i></div><div><i>every day a treasure</i></div><div><i>every day adventure</i></div><div><i><br></i></div><div><i>oh, to see life through these eyes</i></div><div><i>oh, to see life through these eyes</i></div><div><i>oh, the stories to be told</i></div><div><i>when I grow up....</i></div><div><i> I want to be six years old.</i></div><div><i><br></i></div><div><i><br></i></div><div><i><br></i></div><div><i><br></i></div><div><i><br></i></div><div><br></div>jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-31700471969030217982014-01-31T19:45:00.001-08:002014-01-31T19:45:13.572-08:00Oh, to have the faith of my dogHenry is our sweet one year old lab. I have a love/hate relationship with this animal. Henry is the dog whom I would take in and out, in and out, trying to potty train him and after about the seventh time to no avail, we would come in... he would look at me...make sure I was looking... then urinate all over the floor. He's the dog that goes nuts at the vet and won't sit still on the scale. He's the dog who hunts for dirty diapers as if they were treasures worthy of all costs. He's the dog that when I go to pick him up after being boarded, I'm nauseated. "Well, Henry ate his bed this time. Watch him for a few days." He's the dog who would bolt across the street to visit anything and anyone because apparently the entire world wants to pet him. He's jumped on the school bus. He's been in and out of almost every neighbor's garage. He's chewed too many balls and sports equipment to count. Not to mention shoes and socks and kitty toys. Yet somehow through all the destruction, he as managed to wedge a warm spot in our hearts. <div><br></div><div>He never jumps on my children. He waits politely for his food and for us to enter and exit first out of the house or garage. He started barking furiously one day (which he RARELY does.. another great thing about him) and I went running down to the garage to find that Thomas had opened the garage door and was walking out into our front yard! (good dog) He once found an earring that I had lost playing with the kids in the yard and dropped it in my hands.. unscathed. (good dog) One night while Josh was taking him out there was a noise and he went and stood in between from where the noise was coming from and Josh. It was Chris taking the trash out. But Henry didn't budge until Chris came into sight and then he wagged his tail wildly; as if relieved that Josh was safe. :) (good dog) He lets Thomas ride him occasionally. He's great on his walks....and well, he just loves us. I never fully understood or realized exactly how much he loves us until recently.</div><div><br></div><div>Because Henry was becoming more confident in his surroundings, he was leaving the yard a lot more; wandering out in the street and exploring in the woods. We decided to activate the electric fence that was installed by the previous owners. We had a trainer come out and work with Henry. We set up the flags establishing his boundary and it didn't take but a few hours and Henry found a new motto to live by: "flag...bad". This new restriction provided all of us more freedom to enjoy being outdoors and being with Henry. </div><div><br></div><div>The invisible fence was great, however, when I leashed him up to take him for his first walk since the installation, he put the breaks on. Even though I had taken off his electric collar, all he knew was he wasn't supposed to cross that line. Remember? <i>Flag</i>...<i>bad</i>.</div><div><br></div><div>I coaxed him. "come on, boy. it's ok. come on.."</div><div><br></div><div>He moved an inch.</div><div><br></div><div>I asked again. "come on, Henry. It's ok. I promise. come on..."</div><div><br></div><div>He lowered to the ground...tail tucked 'neath his belly...Ears bent low. He did a little crawl.</div><div><br></div><div>"Good boy. Come on. I promise... You can trust me.... it's ok.. just a little more"</div><div><br></div><div>And with a little whimper, he scampered quickly across the flag threshold and I praised him. I don't know if he understood me or not, but I told him that he can always trust me. I will never ask him to walk through that wire unless I know he isn't going to get a shock. <i>Just listen to me, boy. </i></div><div>And then it hit me.</div><div><br></div><div><i>Oh, to have the faith of my dog.</i></div><div><i><br></i></div><div>Everything he knew to be true, had experienced first hand, over and over again.... screamed this is dangerous and painful. I was the only voice telling him it was safe. He had a choice. He could stay in his safe little yard and miss out on our walk together... new smells...visiting the horses... running down the hills...all the things he loves and brings him joy.... or <b>trust</b> <b>me</b> when I said it was okay to come. <i>If that's not faith, I don't know what is.</i> And I realized, this dog, with whom I loved AND hated...whole-heartedly loved me. He was willing to go wherever I called..even when he <i>knew</i> it <b>could</b> cost him greatly.</div><div><br></div><div>There are times certain paths aren't allowed, and times we're asked to take the very road once prohibited. That's why we must keep our eyes before the One who is instructing us in the way...the when...the how. His paths never lead to anywhere but Holy ground when we are following Him.</div><div><br></div><div>I love my dog. </div><div><br></div><div>We had a great walk that day. And we have had many great walks since. Now all I have to say is, "Come on Henry... It's okay to cross." And without a beat, he marches right alongside me through those obnoxious yellow flags. Trust like this is love.</div><div><br></div><div><i>Oh, to have the faith of my dog.</i></div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqJ10d4xUM8O5WId2QJLirPheUecKcw5hUp9oG28pKwpGSDRODao_cq_J794VPIe8E8yhCC6CSoYFx0teGeP0c_4ZCLJ7EOQIWKz6LXlVhTWVxnxIvh_HrE4owjrWhkGKtNuosF1iFBoI/s640/blogger-image--693863690.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqJ10d4xUM8O5WId2QJLirPheUecKcw5hUp9oG28pKwpGSDRODao_cq_J794VPIe8E8yhCC6CSoYFx0teGeP0c_4ZCLJ7EOQIWKz6LXlVhTWVxnxIvh_HrE4owjrWhkGKtNuosF1iFBoI/s640/blogger-image--693863690.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><i>" I keep The Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my soul rejoices; my body also rests secure....You show me the path of life. In Your presence there is fullness of joy; in Your right hand are pleasures forevermore." </i>Psalm 16:8-9,11</div><br></div>jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-69590542174353950952013-10-17T10:31:00.001-07:002013-10-17T10:31:52.929-07:00said the parent to the child"I want a sister. I am lonely," cried the little girl as she quit a game of football with her brothers.<br />
<br />
T<i>ake that up with Jesus. Share with him about your loneliness.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
"You need to put him to bed or something. Get him out of here!" said the oldest as his little brother entered his room.<br />
<br />
<i>I am not going to do that right now, he can have a turn playing. Go to Jesus with your emotions regarding your little brother.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
"Why don't you ever let us watch these movies. Everyone watches them. All of our friends!" said all the children.<br />
<br />
<i>They aren't honoring to the Lord. I pray one day you will understand. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>You are loved more than you could ever imagine. I don't pray for you to understand that or grasp it. I pray for strength to continue to love you as I am called. I am called to equip you for life. I am called to instruct you in how to navigate your way. I can't prepare you for your future by preparing all things your way. That isn't how the world works. I have to train you for entering that battlefield. Which means I have to withhold some things. I need to challenge you to actions. I need to allow you to wrestle with your emotions and with the Lord.. alone..just between you and Him. But I can give you guidance now.. I can teach you scripture, I can live and model by example...so when you are an adult, you will know how to seek the Lord.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>We come wired to be selfish and seek immediate circumstantial joy in all things. I have 18 years (Lord willing) to help reset(with the Lord's help) that default, and if I am successful, more after that. You will experience pain and disappointment in this world. You must have practice while under my care. That means I can't give you everything you want. I can't keep you from having to work and share, because those qualities are actually life-giving to us and our future. It will not be my goal to make things easy for you (although I grieve when you grieve), it will however, be my desire to point you to Christ... the author and perfector of your faith. I will pray that all things... joyful and painful..be a means to perfect your faith in Him. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Tough love? Yes. But not in the since, "suck it up, buddy... that's life!" kind of tough love. Tough love meaning in sweat and tears and wrestling will I fight for you. Daily, hourly, will I battle in prayer the lies the culture speaks to you that are contrary to TRUTH. Daily, hourly, will I battle the lies the world whispers to me of guilt when you are sad... when you are deprived of "happiness" (worldly speaking)... in tears I will fight in prayer for your heart to grasp TRUE joy.. the unwaivering, unfailing, uplifting, grace-giving, always forgiving kind of joy.. flowing... EVER flowing from a life found in Christ. This joy that so often can only be drawn through wells of sorrow and heartache. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>I am doing you a gross disservice if I plan your days around your TV shows, vacations, foods you crave, games and vices you seek at your leisure. If I deprive you of learning how to work with no reward. ask forgivness and experience someone asking of you forgiveness, experiencing conflict.. resolving conflict...thinking of others.. serving others....waiting and waiting for desires... experiencing "no" answers to prayers. I can't keep cancer from affecting those you love. I can't keep a friend from breaking your heart or exposing your heart to evil. (I can try... wow, I can try)... but evil happens. everywhere. because we live in a broken, evil place. I must teach you to find the beauty here. how to shut out to screams of internet, netflix, amazon, fed-ex trucks, cell phones, ipods..pads..texts...beeps EVERYWHERE.. and notice the dandelion. Breath in the fragrance of a tea olive shrub. Pet an animal. Observe a bird. Sit on the floor and stack blocks. Kick a ball. Jump in a creek. Be silent. Love God's word.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>These are the reminders of Him. The enemy tries to drown Him out. Evil tries to darken what Christ brings to light. in Him, you will always find the light. always. Enjoy what He HAS given you. If only this day it is but a wild flower. You are dearly loved.</i><br />
<i> --</i>said the parent to the child<br />
<br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-13506662778806840482013-06-26T04:19:00.001-07:002013-06-26T04:19:53.488-07:00It's okay to say "I'm Sorry"Woke up extra early this morning. I can hear the birds having their morning discussions outside the window of my den. The house is silent. My thoughts are loud.<br />
<br />
This summer has been a relaxing one. With all of our "moves" this year, we decided to literally plan nothing for the summer but a few trips to the beach and outings to the pool. It's been nice to rest. It's been nice to spend uninterrupted time with my children. We've been reading a lot. We've been playing games and loving animals. We've also been arguing a lot. ugh. But we've also been saying "I'm sorry" a lot. I used to still feel really bad about this. I don't like it when I sin. I detest when I lose my patience with my toddler. I hate my quick temper. I apologize, but I hate that I am seemingly always apologizing for the same things. It begins a terrible cycle of guilt and shame with me, if I'm honest.<br />
<br />
"God is just as willing and just as able to sanctify, as He is to redeem" (Stepping Heavenward by E. Prentiss)<br />
<br />
I wholly except that Christ gave His life for me so that I may gain eternal life with Him.. forever. I am realizing lately, though, that I am not living like I wholly believe that this resurrection occurs as well in my sanctification. Every apology... every grievance.. He is resurrecting. I am a new creation again and again. He didn't just save me one time. He is saving me every minute... He moves from sin to sin.. cleaning out my heart... purifying.<br />
<br />
The more I grow in holiness, the more I see and grieve my own sin... the greater my sin, the greater Christ becomes.<br />
<br />
"For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:6-8<br />
<br />
Our apologies serve to make it right with those we care for on this earth and to declare to our Heavenly Father, we are unable to make these changes on our own.. we are helpless to our sin.. we NEED a Savior! And He rescues every time and fulfills His promises over and over.<br />
<br />
"Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will be careful to observe My ordinances. You will live in the land that I gave to your forefathers; so you will be My people, and I will be your God." Ezekiel 36:25-28<br />
<br />
It's okay to say "I'm sorry."jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-70312283128666752832013-04-01T07:51:00.003-07:002013-04-01T07:51:57.599-07:00jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-48323358637888847502013-04-01T07:51:00.001-07:002013-04-01T07:51:43.997-07:00jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-32416328741340572812013-01-23T06:58:00.000-08:002013-01-23T06:58:40.858-08:00He Goes BeforeThere is nothing that comforts quite like The Gospel. There is nothing that eases a mind, quite like The Gospel. There is nothing that rests a heart, quite like The Gospel. There is nothing quite like it, because it was planned and designed with US in mine by our OWN Creator.. who knows us... who knew us before time began. wow. It really blows my mind!<br />
<br />
This weekend I had the great honor of leading worship for speaker and author, Elyse Fitzpatrick. She taught the simple truth of The Gospel, and it's power fell fresh on my heart. As I was traveling back, I penned a new song. I find myself singing it as I run about my daily tasks. I pray it will serve as a reminder of Truth for you as it does for me.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>He Goes Before </b> -jp</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>When the night is dark, when the road is dim</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>When I cannot see the way</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>i will follow Him, I will fear no more</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>'cause my Savior, He goes before</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>when the journey's long, and the suffering deep</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>when my strength begins to fail</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>i will trust His hand, as He leads me forward</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>'cause my Savior, He goes before</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>He goes before, He leads ahead</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>There is no mountain or valley He's not tread</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>when I'm with Him, the path is dim no more</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>'cause He goes, He goes before</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>When I'm full of guilt</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>When regret is strong</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>When my soul wants to despair</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I will hope in Him, I will rest secured</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>'cause my Jesus, He goes before</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>He goes before, He's gone ahead</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>and He has purchased my life, He's paid the debt</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>when I'm with Him, my sin is no more</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>'cause He goes, He goes before</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>When my end is near, when I breathe my last</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I'll not fear my fate to come</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I will rejoice forevermore</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>'cause my Jesus has gone before</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>He's gone before, He waits ahead</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Robed in splendor, to welcome me in</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>when I'm with Him, all will be restored</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>and He goes, He goes before</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Take heart! He is not leading us on an unfamiliar road. :)</div>
jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-16409408606999817082013-01-08T20:55:00.001-08:002013-01-08T20:55:12.965-08:00No White Spaces"Mommy, will you help me finish my picture?" Emma Faye's sweet voice interrupted my deep thought.<br />
<br />
I was moving about our house cleaning, clearing, organizing....trying to bring some kind of order to our "new" house (new to us) after the explosion of Christmas vacation. It had seemed a whirlwind how we had found ourselves, here, on this bleak January morning... transplanted within unfamiliar walls and foreign floors. We moved one week before Thanksgiving, left for South Carolina for a week with family, then returned... all suffering with a stomach virus which lasted about two weeks... still somehow Christmas came... and went... and we had a wonderful holiday.<br />
<br />
However, once the tree was dislodged from it's stand and the decorations came down, I found myself to be somewhat lost in this "new" home. Thrust back into our reality that we were living in a rental and were in a season of transition and uncertainty. We all felt like we had moved away, when actually it was only just a few miles. We were unpacked and had squeezed all of our belongings into this little cottage, still it felt bare. I was struggling.... fighting to believe that I am loved by my Savior... that He knows all the things I don't... He has got all of this... He is looking at the plans and carrying them out... and that all of these statements, aren't just "happy thoughts and wishes"... but PROMISES. <br />
<br />
"So will you? Please?"<br />
<br />
I smiled, "yes, let's finish it together."<br />
<br />
"Ok, it's gonna take a long time. See, Mommy, you have to cover all of it with this marker... the WHOLE background... no white spaces. I want it to look like how God colors," she said so matter of fact like. I was so confused. I asked her what she meant... we were coloring a reindeer in the snow and she wanted me to color everything else blue like the sky, but apparently I wasn't coloring enough blue.<br />
<br />
"No white spaces means, ALL colored. I don't want any of the paper to show... like this..."<br />
<br />
..and time froze for a moment. I couldn't believe the insight of my five year old. Not only was I suddenly overwhelmed by the mere gift of just being able to be her mother, but also by the depth of what she began to share....<br />
<br />
She then turned to the window and lifted up the blind and said, "like this Mommy... see.. look outside... do you see any white spaces? See how every single thing is colored. God didn't leave anything out. See, even like the air...no white spaces....but I know I won't get it as perfect as God does, but still I want to color as much as I can... will you help me?"<br />
<br />
I did look out that window. I had a hard time seeing anything, though, through the tears. But I wiped them away so I COULD see the world God had colored. It was bleak and gray and windy. The ground was damp. The leaves squishy.....<br />
<br />
(no white spaces)<br />
<br />
God had colored it all. He'd left nothing out. Once again, He speaks to me through my child... my artist.. who finds the beauty in a winter afternoon. I pondered the winter days of my heart. God has colored every one. He doesn't start a masterpiece and leave it undone. He completes it.... and He completes it with perfection.<br />
<br />
(no white spaces)<br />
<br />
Holy Father, Emmanuel....you meet us where we are.... you are our supply. Thank you giving us this beautiful world FULL of color and light even on the gray, black and white days. Thank you for coloring our hearts... even the deep, dark places.<br />
<br />
You leave no white spaces .....<br />
<br />
...none.jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-49912066797265207422012-12-15T11:04:00.001-08:002012-12-15T11:04:11.140-08:00Ring Loud the Bells of Hope"Then Herod, when he saw that he had been tricked by the wise men, became furious, and sent and killed all the male children in Bethlehem and in all that region who were two years old or under....Then was fulfilled what was spoken by the prophet Jeremiah,<br />
"A voice was heard in Ramah, weeping and loud lamentation. <br />
Rachel weeping for her children. <br />
She refused to be comforted because they are no more" Matthew 2:16-18<br />
<br />
I was rocking Thomas to sleep for his nap. He asked me for his favorite song. I begin...<br />
<br />
"He's got the whole world in His hands... He's got the..whole world...." I struggled to get it out. My mortal mind... my finite reasoning is struggling to sing these words this afternoon.<br />
<br />
Really, God? You have the WHOLE world in your hands.... even Newton? How? How can this be? Why would you allow this to happen to innocent children?<br />
<br />
".. in His Hands...He's got the whole world in His hands..."<br />
<br />
again, Mommy.<br />
(I sigh) I sing again. In tears I speak the truth. Maybe my heart will listen because my mind is elsewhere. I pray for the Holy Spirit to search my soul for the Truth that I know is in there. And then I was reminded of the weeping and killing of innocent children soon after Christ's birth. Children murdered just because they were male and infants. It is no different than children murdered just because they went to school. Soldiers barged into homes... into HOMES... and killed the baby boys. I have three sons. My youngest is 2. <br />
<br />
There is nothing new under the sun. The Bible reminds us of this over and over again that this world offers suffering and only glimpses of our promised joy. There has always been the shedding of innocent blood. It hurts. Sin brings pain... but this why He came.<br />
<br />
"She will bear a son and you shall call his name, Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins." Matthew 1:21<br />
<br />
As I celebrate the season of Advent... I long for the Advent which is to come... when all will be restored... when all will be well.... when we will take hold of our promise. Until then, I grieve with the hope of that promise. I rejoice in the songs of Christmas because this season marks the beginning of this fulfillment. May the bells of hope ring loud until the trumpet is blown. Truth is everything. You DO hold the WHOLE world, Jesus... and you are coming. You are coming to take captive that which you have set free.jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-14895618936630033032012-11-02T08:26:00.004-07:002012-11-02T08:36:41.213-07:00The "Real" TreasuresI just love how the most heartfelt Little House on the Prairie episodes seem to open with Laura narrating these words, "<i>If I had a remembrance book, I would write this down...".</i> As I was packing boxes late last night watching an old episode, I thought about that statement as I reflected over these past few months.<br />
<br />
God is so good. <i>If I had a remembrance book, I would record </i>all<i> of the ways The Lord has been faithful and good to us during this season.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
We are moving to a little house not far from our home now. A "temporary" home as we have called it, although I am learning that everything on this earth is our temporary home. As I pack and purge all of the "stuff" we have acquired, I am reminded of true treasures.... the <i>pictures. </i>Not the ones we paid for that hang on our walls and decorate our Facebook pages; bought all the matching outfits for. No, I am speaking of the snapshots. The ones in little picture frames, or hanging on our fridge by a magnet. The ones thrown in a drawer. The real smiles. The dirty clothes. The real <i>life </i> ones. Then there are the <i>memories.</i> The conversations like, "Mommy, I am going to miss our water puddle after it rains." or "Mommy, remember when this room used to be yellow?" "Remember when I used to sleep in a crib, and now Thomas uses it?" Touching up a wall and hearing my precious little girl saying she is sorry for writing on it. <i>life.</i><br />
<br />
I struggle with wanting a <i>Home.</i> Moving around is so hard for me. I just want a "forever home"...whatever that means. I am realizing that I actually DO have a home. Because a <i>home</i> isn't walls and windows. It isn't furniture or dishes. It isn't paintings and yards. It isn't pets and toys. <i>A home is <b>life.</b></i><br />
<i><b><br /></b></i>
Jesus says that He is the way, the truth and the <i>life.</i> He says for those willing to lose their own lives, will gain one; an eternal one... a <i>forever home.</i> I HAVE a forever home in Him. A house isn't a home. He is. He speaks of storing up treasures in heaven... eternal treasures; those that are life-giving.<br />
<br />
You can't pack <i>life</i> in a box. But you can take it with you. It can be stored. If we invest in that which is most life-giving. When we pause and make a memory. When it becomes about the heart and not about the stuff and activities. As I consume rolls and rolls of bubble wrap to protect the "precious" items, I realize that which I treasure most is already permanently sealed and stored for eternity. In Christ, <i>life</i>, goes with us. <i>Life </i>is our home both now and forever when Christ is our <i>life.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
This move is already sweet. I have many boxes resting in our garage, ready to be transported, but much much more resting within my heart. And I am glad for that. jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-75668833186221963752012-08-19T12:28:00.001-07:002012-08-19T12:28:11.573-07:00Less like scars and more like character.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: blue;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I</span><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>t's been a hard year </i></span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: blue;"><span style="color: blue;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But I'm climbing out of the rubble </i></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: italic; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;">These lessons are hard </span></i></div>
<span style="background-color: blue; color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Healing changes are subtle </i></div>
<i><div style="text-align: center;">
<i>But every day it's</i></div>
</i></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: blue; color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;">Less like tearing, more like building </span></i></div>
<span style="background-color: blue; color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Less like captive, more like willing </i></div>
<i><div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Less like breakdown, more like surrender </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Less like haunting, more like remember</i></div>
</i></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: blue; color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;">And I feel you here </span></i></div>
<span style="background-color: blue; color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i>And you're picking up the pieces </i></div>
<i><div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Forever faithful </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>But you are able </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>And in your hands the pain and hurt </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</i></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;">Look less like scars and more like </span></i></div>
<span style="background-color: blue; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="color: blue; text-align: center;">
<i>Character</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="color: blue;">- </span>Sarah Groves lyrics "Less Like Scars"</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I hadn't heard this song in a LONG time and it came on my Pandora station the other morning during my run. It was timely and quite the response I wish to give those who ask, "how's your summer been?" It's just been that kind of summer. Lots of tearing apart.. but MORE building anew. Subtle changes; but changes none the less in my journey toward holiness... a broken road full of humility and grace. Broken isn't bad, though. Broken is beautiful. Broken exposes our need for Christ... cries out to Christ... breathes Christ. Yes, I am learning to be quite comfortable in my brokenness. There is no shame in <i>needing</i> a Savior. There is no shame in not being able to <i>do</i>. <b>THIS</b> is why Jesus came. Brokenness precedes the building. I am but bones, but HE will cover me and clothe me in HIM.. and in Him, I become NEW.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The kids and I have LOVED going to the pool this summer. We've spent much time up there and FINALLY Thomas joined our joyful troop of pool goers. This took a while. See, at first, Thomas was fearful of the water. I would hold him and say, "I've got you, it's ok... I've got you.." He would cling for dear life to me as I waded around the shallow end only letting his toes dip into the water... then his legs... then we would bob up and down.. up and down until I would see a smirk on his face followed by, "again, mommy.. again!" Eventually he warmed up and wasn't fearful.. but every time we got in the water he immediately began saying, "I got you. I got you." I would repeat, "yes, I got you. I got you." We would walk around the pool together and in a loud confident voice, he repeated, "I got you. I got you."</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
One morning, my eyes became a pool of their own. I realized what Thomas was speaking. In his fear, in his need of assurance.. he didn't speak HIS words: "You have me. Mommy has me."... he spoke MINE. <b>I GOT YOU.</b> </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I thought about all of the times I have begun to fear.. all of the times I fight my doubt that God is in this... What would it mean for me to repeat the TRUTH Christ speaks over me! <b>YOU ARE MINE. I LOVE YOU. YOU ARE PRECIOUS. DO NOT FEAR. I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU. I HAVE PLANS FOR YOU..PLANS TO PROSPER YOU... PLANS FOR HOPE AND FUTURE. </b>Not to question it... but to STATE it. To speak it out loud in HIS own words.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
This has profoundly affected me. Through the lens of God's goodness, the trials are bearable... they have purpose...they are a part of the great story of my life HE has written. Covered and cared for in the hands of Christ, that which wounds actually strengthens. And in time.. according to His will... those wounds do indeed become <u>less like scars, and more like character.</u></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>Thank you, Jesus. Thank you for the work you did on the cross. Thank you for the suffering you endured for me. Thank you that you are always at work for our good. May I speak your truth to myself as You speak it over me on my behalf to my Heavenly Father. You are GOOD. You ARE good!</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>"I GOT YOU!"</b></div>
</span><br />
jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-9609797171289991992012-08-05T13:01:00.002-07:002012-08-05T13:02:13.024-07:00STOP living in the Now!!I read what I thought to be one of the saddest blog posts from a young mother of four a few days ago. It was written in a Voskamp-esque fashion in which she described this intense romantic love affair with a city. Yes, a city. She described all the things this city had taught her...how "he" (the city) had loved her well..inspired her... gave her peace..and understanding as to who she was... most importantly, "how to live in the NOW." This, from a woman whose "living in the now" philosophy ended her with a divorce. My heart grieves still.<br />
<br />
Oh, how I cringe at that phrase. I want to scream from the rooftops: <br />
<br />
<b>Oh believing women of faith, STOP LIVING IN THE NOW!!!!</b><br />
<b><br /></b><br />
Stop examining bubbles and butterflies and taking pictures and posting and blogging and tweeting and texting and everything else we do to worship our "now".. our "immediate moment." Live for the <i>Not Yet.</i><br />
<i><br /></i><br />
I know it's hard. I know we come wired to "feel". We are emotional. We are fueled by deeply relating to one another. We long to nurture and care. I am the FIRST to admit, when not in check, I am an emotional roller coaster. Emotions and passions are good qualities that can catapult us bravely into the Lord's work, but they can also be paralyzing. Living in the Now and responding to immediate feelings that are driving our NOW can destroy our future. They lead us astray. There is little hope in the Now. Have you ever thought about that? The Now is of this earth. The Now is decaying. Anything that is beautiful and precious in our immediate Now, is only because it is a glimpse of the Not Yet. Everything that is filled with beauty on this earth is but a dim, faded, eroded image, or emotion of that to come. <br />
<br />
As C.S. Lewis so perfectly pens in The Great Divorce: "When you painted on earth- at least in your earlier days- it was because you caught glimpses of Heaven in the earthly landscape. The success of your painting was that it enabled others to see the glimpses too."<br />
<br />
Living in the Now only grants me my current feelings and circumstances in which to hope. THAT in itself is hopeless enough. Living for the Not Yet propels me to draw from a another well... a deeper well.. one that NEVER runs dry. I drink. I am supernaturally satisfied. Nothing of this world can satiate quite like placing complete trust in Christ... and nothing of this world can remove it. Here is the joy of living for the Not Yet.<br />
<br />
I was awakened yesterday morning to Psalm 130 being recited in my mind. Yes, recited. The words were audibly heard and I was grateful for the Spirit giving me this word from the Lord.<br />
<br />
<b><i>Out of the depths I have cried to You, O Lord;</i></b><br />
<b><i>Lord, hear my voice! Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications....</i></b><br />
<b><i>I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I do hope. My soul waits for the Lord </i></b><br />
<b><i>more than those who watch from the morning---yes, more than those who watch for the morning.</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b><br />
<b><i>O, Israel, hope in the Lord; for with the Lord there is mercy, and with Him is abundant redemption.</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b><br />
I don't know where you find yourself today. Are you living in your Now? Hope in the Lord. Wait for the Lord. It's hard isn't it?--the waiting. Hosea 6:3 states:<br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">Let us acknowledge </span><b style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">the</b><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> LORD; let us press on to acknowledge him. </span><b style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><b>As</b></b><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><b style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">sure</b><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">ly </span><b style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><b>as</b></b><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><b style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">the </b><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"></span><b style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">sun</b><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> rises, he will appear; he will come to us like </span><b style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">the</b><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> winter rains, like </span><b style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">the</b><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> spring rains that water </span><b style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">the</b><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> earth.”</span><br />
<br />
"As surely as the run rises, he will appear." THIS is why we wait for the Lord as those who watch for the morning. Another translation says.. "as watchmen for the morning." We stand on our wall, on guard.. waiting and looking NOT down at our feet and fearing- not distracted by our feelings of being exhausted or how we feel emotionally.. or how cold or hungry we are... NO! We look out--to the horizon--waiting for the the DAWN! Because unless the Lord returns, we can be assured that the sun is rising. It rises EVERYDAY. Completely reliable. So it is with our great and awesome God! We look out from our wall of darkness towards the HOPE that WILL appear. Because He is coming. The sun is rising. The dawn is almost here. We need not question. He will appear and He will rain on us and water us.... soon! but Now...we need to start living for more than this minute. We need begin living beyond our own strength. We need to begin living for the Not Yet!<br />
<br />
<br />jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-17065441363264338782012-07-27T11:30:00.002-07:002012-07-27T11:30:25.152-07:00Everything I needed to know in life I have learned from the song Jesus Loves Me<i><b>Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so....</b></i><br />
<i><br /></i><br />
I am loved. I am dearly loved. My Savior loves me. I can KNOW this. I don't have to wonder. I don't have to think. I don't have to "feel" loved. I KNOW.. why? Because scripture TELLS me so! The Bible is truth and if it says it is so... it is. I AM loved by my Savior, Jesus Christ.<br />
<br />
<i><b>Little ones to Him belong....</b></i><br />
<i><br /></i><br />
"My beloved is mine and I am his" Song of Solomon 2:16<br />
<br />
"But now, thus says the Lord, your Creator, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel, "do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; your are MINE!" Isaiah 43:1<br />
<br />
"And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, "Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven." Matt. 18:2<br />
<br />
I am a <i>little one.</i> I am HIS <i>little one</i>... whom He has knit together.. whom He has created and known.. whom He loves... whom He guides and watches over... while I sleep.. when I rise...in my comings and goings of my day (Psalm 139)...whom He gives GOOD gifts..<br />
<br />
"or what is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!" Matt. 7:9-11<br />
<br />
..because a child I am dependent upon HIM.. for food.. for water.. for ALL things! There is NOTHING I have that hasn't been given to me FIRST from HIM. All is HIS! He has shared them with me.<br />
..because I am a child, I trust Him. I look to Him. I obey Him. He trains me in obedience. He is always looking after my GOOD.<br />
<br />
<i><b>..they are weak, but He is STRONG.</b></i><br />
<i><br /></i><br />
Amen! I am weak. I am unable. I am not equipped. I can not. I won't be able to. I am feeble. I am fearful. HE is strong. He is able. He will equip me. He CAN! He is the Great I AM! He strengthens feeble hands. He gives courage to the fearful. He gives wings to those who can't fly. He carries those who can't walk. He causes the blind to see.. and the lame to leap! He heals.. He mends... He redeems... He repairs. At our weakest... in HIM we become strong. (2nd Corinthians 12:10).<br />
<br />
<i><b>Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me.</b></i><br />
<i><br /></i><br />
"Immediately the boy's father cried out and said, "I do believe; help me in my unbelief." Mark 9:24<br />
<br />
I will need this drilled into my heart over and over again. I AM loved. Yes.. He DOES love me... in difficult circumstances... in hard times.. in suffering.. in betrayal. Yes, Jesus loves me. Over and Over I need this reminder. I am forgetful. Does His love for me change? NO!<br />
<br />
<b>....<i>the Bible tells me so.</i></b><br />
<i><br /></i><br />
How do I know Jesus loves me? Because I feel it? Because everything in my life is working out? Because my children are perfect? Because my husband is perfect? Because my body is well? Because my relationships are thriving? Because people like me? Because I am wealthy? Because I have everything I want? Does this give me insight into exactly how deep His love is for me? NO! Because scripture TELLS ME. Despite everything.. suffering.. hardship.. sickness... I am loved. I love because He loved FIRST and foremost! (1 John 4:10)<br />
<br />
This is all I need to know in life. All trials are minimized first and foremost when filtered through the light of His love for me. It's the simplest song. It's the simplest Truth.jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-18901435518412294432012-05-01T19:35:00.001-07:002012-05-01T19:41:09.718-07:00FirefliesI set out on my run tonight. Full of joy from this weekend; a wonderful time spent with family. Heavy already from the load of the week. and the laundry. and the groceries. and the sleep deprivation. and it's only Tuesday! My legs resist. I make it a mile and a half and walk. Just two weeks ago, I ran a half marathon. I am amazed by the power of the mind over the body. I told myself I was going to keep running no matter what. and I did. and it was so hard. I wanted to cry, but I kept going. I kept running. I couldn't breathe, so I forced myself to stop crying. I suppressed my emotions and focused all energy into continuing that long gruesome trek to the finish. and I finished.<br />
<br />
But tonight, I don't have it in me. or, I'll say, I've decided to allow my mind to ease up on the body. to give up. to give in. to give over to emotions. I rest. and I cry. I notice the beautiful purple orange sky; the swirls of puffy white dancing between scarves of pink and I lift up my eyes. I breathe in His glory. The question arises. The same question David asked long ago, "From where shall my help come?"<br />
<br />
<i>I am so tired, Lord. I am so tired. I am always running. Running everywhere. Where is my rest? I just want to stop sometimes and catch a breath. I question my strength. I question my stamina. I need help.</i><br />
<br />
<b>My help comes from the Lord.</b><br />
<br />
I am reminded of the story of King Asa in 2 Chronicles. When he looked out over the valley and saw enemies drawing together in battle formation.<b> </b><i> "Then Asa called to the Lord his God and said, "<b>Lord, there is no one besides You to help in the battle between the powerful and those who have no strength; so help us, O Lord, You are our God, for we trust in you, and in Your name have come against this multitude." </b>(2 Chronicles 14:11)</i><br />
<br />
<i>...the battle between the powerful and those who have no strength</i>... <i><u>There is NO ONE besides YOU to help</u></i>.....<br />
<br />
This is me tonight. So many seemingly powerful forces pressing in on a woman who feels she has no strength. Not even enough strength to complete a run. Not even enough to complete a walk, for I have stopped and now sit. Then again, rest is good. Rest is remembrance. I need to stop and remember I am HIS daughter.<br />
<br />
<b>My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber.</b><br />
<br />
You need no sleep Lord, so I may rest. You stay awake and alert, guarding your daughter. You and you alone are my HELP; my help in ALL things. I can rest because you fight for me in the battle between all of those powerful forces and my weary state. You strengthen me.<br />
<br />
I glance to my right and gasp in awe. My path brings me to an open space among trees. Fireflies sprinkle illuminated glitter low above the grass. <i>Is it already time for them? </i>Who knows how they know. How they know it's warm enough. How they know when to bring the light into darkness. Perhaps they are always there, glowing in and out, and only when our day darkens are we able to see this gift.<br />
<br />
Hmm. I smile. A tear pools. As the blinking yellow glow of fireflies whisper "<i>summer's coming...summer's coming...."</i>, my Heavenly Father reminds me my help isn't <i>just on the way. </i>It's always been here. Sometimes, I haven't seen it. Sometimes, I've had to go looking for it. Sometimes, I've had to wait for it. And sometimes, I've been surprised to find it glowing in breathtaking beauty in the midst of darkness. And it has taken my breath away.<br />
<br />
<b>My help comes from the Lord.</b>jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-5089490482380127882012-03-29T06:25:00.004-07:002012-03-29T06:33:19.834-07:00Through the Pain... we find the PromiseI was driving through Charleston one beautiful day last week preparing to lead worship for a Women's event. It was one of those days when the beauty of that city absolutely took your breath away. The sky couldn't have been bluer.. full of white puffy clouds. Clouds I could jump in. Clouds I could snuggle in to. Crossing over bridge after bridge.. the water sparkling. The water fluttering. The water waving. Waving up to me. "See how beautiful!" I am moved to speak aloud, "Thank you Lord, for this beautiful, beautiful day."<br />
<br />
Then little rain drops out of nowhere begin to sprinkle. Not pelting rain. Not even a shower... a sprinkle here and there. As if someone were casting seeds of rain from high. The sun is shinning brighter than ever. There isn't a gray cloud in the sky. So I begin searching hard. It's what I always do when there is rain and sun together. I look for the rainbow. I know it's somewhere.. and it usually is. And when I find it on these rare occasions I think, <i>And there is the Promise. </i>A covenant the Lord has made with His people... to never destroy His world by water.<br />
<br />
I glance underneath to the oceans of river I am crossing. <i>This will never rise too high and swallow me up because you said so, Lord. Your promises are true and forever.</i> I think on His other promises. True and Forever.<br />
<br />
Why in the rain of our lives do we not begin searching for the rainbow? The Son is ALWAYS shinning. His light is always penetrating the darkness... He is bringing the darkness to the light. Why in the pain of our lives do we run toward fear.. and feelings of abandonment...our idols for comfort? We LEAVE our Comforter. We flee our Father and Defender.<br />
<br />
Only through the rain do we grab glimpse of the rainbow. It is the pain that draws us to the Promise.<br />
<br />
So in the pain.. seek hard, my friends. It's there. It's written deep on and in our hearts... the Promise. He is faithful. He is good. He is love. Real love. Love that pursues and fights and never settles. Never changes its mind. Love that is never conditional... quite the opposite. Love we can't comprehend... but it's there. It's here. Calling our names. Our names which have been written on His hands before we even came into being. We are His... forever.<br />
<br />
Look! I almost reach my destination and there it was: His bow...the Promise.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>"Not one of the good promises which the Lord had made to the house of Israel failed; all came to pass."</i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Joshua 21:45 </i> </div>jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-15351448631448432352012-03-08T19:31:00.001-08:002012-03-08T19:46:38.622-08:00Give me the hills!I operate through life with a default desire for ease. I want peace. I want harmony. I want easy. I want the weight loss without the diet. I want "delicious" without the calories. I want great payback with little or no effort.<br />
<br />
Like I said, this is my default. This is where I instinctively begin. Only Christ has the power to go into my "control panel" and alter that setting.<br />
<br />
So, it would be to no surprise, that as I have been training for an upcoming half-marathon, I would begin to seek out easier running routes. There are SO many hills in and around my neighborhood. It's grueling. It's tiresome. Feeling fatigued one morning, I set out to run, but this time I went to an outdoor track. <i> </i><br />
<br />
<i>Ah, no hills... just stay in the lines and run the circle.. no thinking.... easy.</i><br />
<br />
..so I thought.<br />
<br />
As I got only about a half mile into my run, I felt nearly paralyzed. It was torture! The same thing over and over. Nothing new. Just round and round. There was no shade. The sun beat down hard. Equal distance each time... ground equally leveled. The minutes couldn't have moved any slower. I almost <i>quit</i>!<br />
<br />
While I agonized, Christ moved in and did a little work on my <i>settings.</i><br />
<br />
I so often have such a misplaced ideal. I think easy and predictable is the goal. If life were only less chaotic. No surprise detours. No muddy patches. No ups and downs. No rain. Or wind. Just give me round and round.. level ground within the confines of a perfectly erected arena... life would work. Then I could keep running.. and I could run well! But it's in the hills that builds strength in our muscles. We acquire the stamina to continue longer.. run further. The gentle downward slopes allow us rest and recovery. The twist and turns of unknown terrain provide motivation to continue on... to see what's around the corner. The track makes me want to quit. I see where I'm going. I see I'm accomplishing nothing in particular, but filling time and adding miles. So many people live life running the track. Life is the race and we are His athletes. How are you training? <br />
<br />
There is so much beauty in the work; in the preparation. Our race is longer than 13.1 miles. It is ongoing. But we have a Coach who is interceding ALWAYS on our behalf.. who has designed a training program specifically for each one of our needs so we may run our best and finish well. He is building into our program faith strengthening climbs, recovery slopes, hope distances. Where there is rain... He is on the sidelines extending to us a poncho. Where we are dry.. He is bringing cups of water. Where we are weak... He provides the Powerbar. And HE IS WAITING FOR US AT THE FINISH LINE!<br />
<br />
I left that track as fast as I could. I ran the park. With each hill I trudged, I thanked the Lord for the hardships in my life...because I was still running... because I am stronger because of them...because HE is the strongest over all. <i>Quit</i>? Never. Not now. I don't want predictable and easy. Predictability paralyzes. It's the hard stuff that keeps us running.<br />
<br />
Give me the hills! My body is better for it. My soul is strengthened by it.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. </span> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Hebrews 12:1-3</b></div>jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-61886813920283372482012-02-03T11:27:00.000-08:002012-02-03T11:27:40.393-08:00I love you dot. dot. dot."Mommy, do you know how much I love you? I love you really, really, really, dot. dot. dot." Emma Faye shared with me in our car ride to the mall. I needed to pick up a few things and, to be honest, I can't remember the last time I actually took advantage of spending time with my two youngest. Thomas was happily gazing out the window, pointing every few minutes in exclamation "SKY!!!!!" "SKY!!!!" (One of his favorite new words).<br />
<br />
I used to do fun activities with Will and Josh ALL the time when they were young. I would go for long walks through downtown Charleston. We would meet friends at parks or the children's museum. AND I would go to the mall. Run a few errands and we would have lunch out. I thought to myself, "Why don't I do this anymore?" So, this particular day, I left the cereal bowls, the laundry, the UNmopped kitchen floor, the UNvaccummed den, and set out for a day with my babies. Off to the mall, and then lunch at the food court, THEN a ride on the carousel in said food court. :) <br />
<br />
Emma Faye said it again, "I love you. dot. dot. dot."<br />
<br />
"Emma Faye, what does 'dot.dot.dot.' mean?" I questioned.<br />
<br />
"Will told me that 'dot.dot.dot' means it goes on and on and on. SO, that's how much I love you," she quickly answered.<br />
<br />
My heart melted. <i>This is why I need to do more of this. Thank you, Lord for bringing my heart BACK to my children. From the distractions.... From self-absorption....oh, THANK YOU, Jesus.</i><br />
<br />
We proceeded with our errands. We ate lunch and then mounted our ponies on the carousel. What joy my little girl and baby boy wore on their faces. We went round and round... up and down. And I was full of joy. I savored those minutes. So simple. So beautiful. So precious.<br />
<i> </i><br />
<i></i>So often, culture presents mothering as an empty cart going nowhere, but around and around in the same circle... up and down.. in the SAME circle ~ fruitless. waste of time. But are you watching your children? Their life is a carousel. The round and round and up and down is magical. It's a gift. The sky is to be applauded. Colors and textures are fascinating. Errands are more than errands. <br />
<br />
From the minute a child enters into our lives, the clock begins ticking when they will enter out. This is but a short season. I have been given a charge to raise them to the best of my ability. I have been duped over and over by what I think I NEED in order to mother them well. I need only a heart open to God's word. I don't need an enormous house. I don't need a huge yard. I don't need to throw the best birthday parties. I don't need to take them on extravagant vacations. I don't for them to have extra-curricular activities. I don't need to have all the cool toys and video games. I need MY heart to be filled with Christ. Christ must pour into me, so I may then pour into them. <br />
<br />
{I breathe deep. This is balm to my soul today. } <br />
<br />
<i>Jesus, you are SO SO good. Keep my life simple and small. Keep my heart large for you and needing you. Keep distractions from me. Keep me unsatisfied with this world so I will rely on YOU for everything.</i><br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
The ride was over, but my day.. my week.. had just begun. Refreshed, I placed Thomas in his stroller. Emma Faye clasped my hand as we headed out toward the parking lot. I leaned down near my precious, beautiful daughter and in blurry-eyes whispered<i>, I love you dot. dot. dot.</i><br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
A smile causing her eyes to almost close enveloped her face. <br />
<br />
"I know what that means," she giggled.<br />
<br />
<i>Thank you for this day, Lord. I love you...</i><br />
<br />
What a beautiful day. My life is full of the simple.<br />
<i> </i><br />
<i>"SKY!!!" </i>Thomas continued all the way home. :)jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-55309313003014836052011-12-14T07:44:00.000-08:002011-12-14T07:44:45.569-08:00Read this today and it ministered to me......<div style="text-align: center;"><b><i>"I watch over My word to accomplish it." Jeremiah 1:12</i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Jesus entered earth's atmosphere quietly one night in Bethlehem's stable, and the promise You had first spoken in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:15) was fulfilled. A promise You had renewed through every generation. A hope and expectation that You kept alive in your people. All the time, You were preparing the way for the promise, laying the groundwork for its fulfillment, readying the hearts of Your people.</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Jesus, You are the proof that our God is a God whose promises are sure. When it looks to me as if You are neglecting Your promises, let my heart see You, the Promise, lying incongruously on a bed of hay, transforming the ordinary into the holy. My soul waits for the fullness of time. </i><i> </i></div><div style="text-align: right;"><i> </i>{Pursuing the Christ by Jennifer Kennedy Dean}</div>jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-51349326207988657002011-12-12T10:15:00.000-08:002011-12-12T11:43:47.902-08:00The Story of the Orphaned LambThere once was an orphaned lamb who had wandered into the wood. She was wounded. She was fearful. She was alone. She was lost. She heard nothing but the sounds of pine straw crunching 'neath her feet along with an occasional snap of a fallen tree branch as she walked aimlessly in circles. It would be night soon. "Where should I go?" she thought to herself. Just then she felt strong arms of a human grabbing her, lifting her into the air. She struggled, but her broken, wounded body could not free itself. She surrendered and was slung over His shoulders. She then recognized His face. He was her Shepherd. "Don't be afraid, now." he said in a quiet, warm tone and carried her through the wood, through the pasture full of grazing sheep, and into His house. He began to care for her wounds. He set out food for her to eat. He washed her dirty coat. He spoke gently to her.<br />
<br />
He seemed kind. He probably could be trusted, but the little lamb chose to fear. She didn't know where she was. She had never taken food out of a bowl. She had never had bandages wrapped around her legs. She had never felt this clean. She felt trapped. She felt fearful. She felt alone. She glanced out of the farmhouse window watching all the other sheep happily grazing along the far hillside. All the little lamb could do was think about the other sheep out in the pasture. She wanted to be with them... for what was most familiar, felt most safe.<br />
<br />
She stayed for quite some time in the Shepherd's house. Most days she would try to escape, but the Shepherd was much too fast and clever for her. She could never be free of Him. "You aren't quite ready sweet girl. You need to heal, darlin'. Trust me little lamb." He would say. She grew to detest His words to her. She didn't like being here.. alone.. with just Him. "But I don't understand. Why do you have me here!" she would tell him. "One day, you will understand. One day, you will," He would reply.<br />
<br />
The day finally came when the Shepherd brought the orphaned lamb outside and turned her loose unto a different field. There were other sheep, here. She was curious, thankful to be out, yet still disappointed. Some of these sheep couldn't walk very well. Some seemed very weak, but they were kind. They greeted her tenderly and welcomed her into their flock. She still pinned for other pasture. Reluctantly, she entered into the fold which was extended to her.<br />
<br />
"But I don't understand. Why did you put me HERE! You know where I want to be. I'm ready. Can't you see?" she pleaded again to the Shepherd.<br />
<br />
"One day you will understand. One day, you will. I promise." He replied.<br />
<br />
With each day her strength grew. She walked around with the other lambs in her flock. Some had been orphaned, too. Some had been severely broken and beaten. Some had been attacked by wolves, but ALL had spent time in the Shepherd's house. All had eaten from His bowl - fed from His hand. All had been washed and bandaged and loved on by the Shepherd. Some had shared in her frustration of feeling held captive at first. Others were extremely thankful. All were encouraging. For the first time, the orphaned lamb did not feel fearful. She did not feel wounded. She did not feel <i>alone</i>. <br />
<br />
And then it happened! The Shepherd called for her. "I think you are ready, sweet girl," he said smiling. "Come on, let's go on with the rest 'em." She followed Him as He led her out towards the open field. She was finally going with the other sheep. "There ya go," and just like that He set her free.<br />
<br />
She watched Him standing guard in the sunlight. A full grown ewe, now, she had remembered as a lamb seeing Him, but never really <i>seeing</i> Him. She never paid much attention to Him. He was always someone poking and prodding her to move on from where she thought she wanted to go. He looked different to her today..<i> <b>and she understood ~</b></i><b> just as the Shepherd had promised</b><b>. </b><br />
<br />
<i>He rescued me. It wasn't good for me to be out with the other sheep, for I was wounded and small and weak. I was an orphan. So out of His great love, He brought me into His own house...not His barn, not in a pen by the backdoor...by His bed. I didn't know how to get my own food, so He fed me. I couldn't walk well, so He carried me. I couldn't keep up with the healthy larger sheep, so when I was strong enough, He surrounded me with sheep that, too, had been wounded. Sheep that had shared in a similar story as me, in order to bring me encouragement. And all the while I wanted to be away from Him. I felt He was being cruel. No. He was being just the opposite. He is a Good Shepherd.</i><br />
<br />
The orphaned lamb couldn't keep her eyes off of Him. She watched His every move... noticing when she was venturing too far.. anticipating His calling for return to the stable.<i> </i>Though at times she still wandered, the Shepherd was faithful every time to bring her back. She had forgotten all about the other sheep in the bigger pasture. She realized that her Shepherd meant more to her than life itself. He was the reason she was alive and well. It mattered no longer whether she lived in a barn, or house, a backyard, a tiny field, or an enormous green pasture... as long as she was with Him. As long as she was near Him, the little orphaned lamb was not fearful. She was never alone. She was content. She was joyful. She wasn't lost anymore; she <i>belonged </i>to Someone. She was no longer an orphan.<br />
<br />
When other sheep noticed her contented, joyful heart, they became curious. "Why are you never fearful? Where do you find your joy?" the little lambs would ask.<br />
<br />
<i>Then she would tell her story... </i><br />
<div style="text-align: right;"><br />
<i>...and other sheep came to know Him as the Good Shepherd, as well. </i></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
THE END</div><br />
<b>I once was lost, but now I see</b><i><b> ~ "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." </b>(1 Thessalonians 5:18)</i>jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-5777951716096936342011-11-29T18:38:00.000-08:002011-11-29T18:39:28.097-08:00{untitled}It was freezing today. Snowflakes mixed with rain fell from cloud covered skies. It was gloomy. So was my heart. There was a war zone going on. I washed the little outfit that Will wore when he was dedicated as a baby. Thomas wears it now. I've washed it several times, but today I just looked at it until I could no longer see through my watery eyes. <i>Seven years have passed since my baby first wore this. SEVEN.</i><br />
<br />
I struggle with the day to day difficulty in mothering. I fight my fleshly desire to retreat... to long for the day to end... to idolize "me" time... <i>alone time... </i>to disengage with my family. My flesh feeds on lies that vacation makes things better, being close to family makes life easier, having a husband that doesn't work often is the answer. I selfishly pine for days when I can sit in on days like these and watch Little Women in silence. All lies. All lies, because this is not what I truly want. Because those lies are not grounded in reality. We only have today. Today matters. We can't change our past. Our future is full of dreams that may or may not occur. But Today, Today is what counts. Today is happening. I want to live in the now. Stay engaged. I desire only a pause from the chaos, really. Just enough to catch my breath. In frustration, I dare ask, "<i>Is that too much to ask, Lord?"</i><br />
<br />
I went running.<br />
<br />
As I prayed, I realized, that I have my Pause. I have my Rest amidst the chaos. I need to learn to rest in Jesus in today. He is here. There is good around me. There is good in the disciplining of children. There is good in the labor for contentment. There is much good in the longing for Heaven... in the realizing that nothing here will ever satisfy like Jesus. No money, No time, No perfect body, No perfect child, no perfect job, no perfect house, No perfect yard, no perfect party, no perfect pet, no perfect furniture... NOTHING. All will leave us empty and dry.. except for Christ.<br />
<br />
I looked out the window of my gym. The rain was still coming down. Images of water brought to mind scripture references of living water, fountains, river of life.<br />
<br />
<i>If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water. (John 7:37-38)</i><br />
<br />
I remembered the words of a song I penned a few months ago. They ministered to me more today. Our rest is waiting for us. There IS a fountain. We must come and drink. We must come and rest. We must come and <i>take </i>our contentment He promises to give. Oh, JOY! There IS joy here in this place.<br />
<i> </i><br />
<i>Come to the Fountain, my beloved</i><br />
<i>it's okay to be weak </i><i></i><br />
<i>my water strengthens, renews, replenishes</i><br />
<i>come to the Fountain, come and drink</i><br />
<i> </i><br />
<i>Come to the Fountain, my beloved</i><br />
<i>wounded heart, do not fear</i><br />
<i>my river deepens faith that has weakened</i><br />
<i>come to the fountain, I AM here</i><br />
<i> </i><br />
<i>I AM the Lifter of you head</i><br />
<i>I AM the Lover of your soul</i><br />
<i>I AM healing your broken</i><br />
<i>I AM the One making you whole</i><br />
<i> </i><br />
<i>Come to the Fountain, my beloved</i><br />
<i>leave your dirty, thirsty shore</i><br />
<i>my shower cleanses, my drink, it quenches</i><br />
<i>come to the Fountain, thirst no more</i><br />
<i></i><br />
<i>I AM lifting up your head</i><br />
<i>I AM loving your soul</i><br />
<i>I AM healing your broken</i><br />
<i>I AM making you whole</i><br />
<i> </i><br />
<i>Come to the Fountain, my beloved</i><br />
<i>here your TRUE salvation lies</i><br />
<i>come and wade in, oh come and bathe in</i><br />
<i>come to the Fountain, come and find</i><br />
<i> </i><br />
<i>beloved, you are mine</i><br />
<br />
There are days we feel so empty. We may feel we have lost a little of our faith. But I believe, it is in THESE moments, that Christ is in the process of digging for us deeper wells in which He will pour MORE of Himself into. The more the empty, the more room He has to inhabit. The fact is, He is not just the Lifter of our head and Lover of our soul once in a while. In all things, He is loving our souls. I believe this. It has taken me years to believe this, but I know it now. The water He gives us is meant for our good. Always. Today, it just happens to be in the form of a freezing rain.<i> </i>jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-83931192940690047272011-11-22T10:17:00.000-08:002011-11-22T10:17:36.637-08:00..but it was all worth it to them...."Mommy, why is everyone getting ready for Christmas? It's Thanksgiving. Are they just skipping over Thanksgiving?" my oldest questioned while observing the lighted snowflakes lining the street. "That's so sad. Thanksgiving is so important. All those pilgrims traveled all this way. They died. They got sick. But it was all worth it to them... so they could worship the one true God."<br />
<br />
Oh my heart skipped a beat. I, too, had forgotten. I, too, was already thinking of pulling my Christmas stuff out to be ready to decorate our tree over the weekend. I, too, had forgotten the meaning of Thanksgiving. I kept replaying his words... those words from an innocent, honest, child: <i>but it was all worth it to them..so they could worship the ONE TRUE GOD.</i><br />
<br />
Where in my life do I walk through suffering and see that it is WORTH every bit. Where do I risk my life... my reputation... what people will think of me... and boldly walk forward in obedience. I don't have to journey across an ocean to make such sacrifices for Christ. My sacrifice can come in kindness toward my husband. In patience with my children. In selfless giving and even CONTENTMENT in where He has me right now. When HE is worth more than saying biting words....than proving I'm "right." <br />
<br />
Oh, Father, have mercy on ME sinner that I am!<i> </i>You ARE worth it.. no matter the lies. No matter the immediate gratification my flesh craves. There is justice and there is reward in following HARD after YOU. May I live in such a way that never compromises my faith....that never settles for less than YOU are asking of me.<br />
<br />
Happy Thanksgiving! May you spend this week thankful of those who found HIM to be worth every mile of suffering and pain... may you join them in their journey..jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7773620894736150227.post-77279944844266904402011-11-16T07:36:00.000-08:002011-11-16T07:36:56.748-08:00Highlights and Deep Thoughts from our Disney VacationThis post is mostly for myself. As I have been forced to jump back into "life", I want to NEVER forget some favorite moments and quotes from our Disney vacation. So here goes my quick recap. We had one of the most blessed times. It literally was as if our Heavenly Father was smiling on us in delight as we awaited the next gift He knew was coming. I am TRULY thankful for all of these blessings... TRULY all good gifts come from above.<br />
<br />
<br />
1. After we surprised our "big three" with the trip, we started walking to the car to leave for the airport, Josh turned back and gave me a big hug. "Thank you so much Mommy. This is the best day. I've always wanted to fly in an airplane and go to Disney World again. Mommy, will we go to church on Sunday in Disney World? Because I want to thank God, too."<br />
<br />
2. We board the plane and Josh says, "This is the best Friday through Tuesday of my entire life!"<br />
<br />
3. We taxi up to our spot in Orlando and Josh looks out the window, "What? Oh man, we are right back where we started!"<br />
<br />
4. As we walk off the plane into the Orlando airport, Emma Faye says (so loudly making those around us laugh) "Well, Disney World, sure was fun." (thinking our adventure WAS the plane right...)<br />
<br />
5. On the ride over to our hotel the moon was a large orange. Breathtaking. Gift from the Lord.<br />
<br />
6. There was a mix up with our hotel room, therefore Chris said the manager said, "Dr. Pruitt, I think we've solved our little puzzle with your room. We have up-graded you to our club-level. I think you will find your stay here to be very magical." (blessing. this included our own private lobby stocked full of snacks, catering, and our private concierge)<br />
<br />
7. Amazing weather. Low crowds at Magic Kingdom. No waits. (blessing)<br />
<br />
8. Stopping as we entered Magic Kingdom to look at a squirrel Emma Faye spotted. I love how she is fascinated by the simple things in life. And if I hadn't stopped her, I really believe that squirrel would have let her touch him. The thing wouldn't move.. which made Emma Faye say,"Mommy, it's like how Belle talks to animals, the animals aren't scared of people." :)<br />
<br />
9. Riding Carousel with Emma Faye and her saying, "Mommy, I'm pretending this is a horsey race."<br />
<br />
10. Riding Space Mountain with my boys and hearing them scream in utter delight.<br />
<br />
11. Kissing my husband every morning and saying "thank you for working so hard for us so we could take this vacation." (the one day I forgot, was the one day things got a little difficult) ;)<br />
<br />
12. Slow to anger hearts and quick to forgive hearts from everyone. Blessing. (no, everyday wasn't perfect.. but every day was redeemed.)<br />
<br />
13. Watching fireworks over castle from awesome spot.<br />
<br />
14. Chris buying Emma Faye her treasured Tinkerbell balloon. (sweet moment)<br />
<br />
15. Dinning at Cinderella's castle.<br />
<br />
16. Laughing so hard with my husband at some extremely absurd moments... laughing at ourselves.<br />
<br />
17. Front row seating at parades. Electrical parade was amazing.<br />
<br />
18. Spending time with Emma Faye while the guys road all the rides and really NOT minding. Enjoyed hearing her heart and listening to her imagination.<br />
<br />
19. Will getting to ride Mission Space at Epcot after hearing him talk about how he really wanted to do that!<br />
<br />
20. Aerosmith roller coaster at Hollywood Studios. Awesomeness.<br />
<br />
21. Josh wanting to ride Tower of Terror.. me scared out of my mind.. and listening to him belly laugh during it's duration.<br />
<br />
22. Friends' prayers for our trip. We felt them!<br />
<br />
23. Josh saying to me, "Mommy, is Pluto real, or a person dressed up? Because when I went to hug him, I felt a zipper." :)<br />
<br />
24. Watching my boys fight Darth Vader. Video coming soon.. hillarious!<br />
<br />
25. Emma Faye riding Dumbo... and then getting to ride it again. Her laugh is contagious.<br />
<br />
26. Mama and Papa staying in Birmingham and keeping Thomas for us. Next time little man.... your day is coming. :)<br />
<br />
And my ALL time favorite thing:<br />
<br />
27. Watching Chris lead us...He had a plan everyday. It wasn't hectic or drill sargent-ish. He was flexible. He made decisions...revised plans. He came up with GENIOUS solutions. Like when we had trouble sleeping because of hotel noises.. he looked up "sounds" on his computer and found a "white" noise sound and we just ran that at night. (isn't that genius?) He figured out the matrix of fastpass times and when to see what. He organized from Touring Plans each night our path for the next day. He orchestrated strollers and who was to ride in them. He maintained order with the kids. He didn't allow the fact that we were on vacation meant the kids would walk all over us. He disciplined with grace... and the children responded. He was patient with me and ALL of my weaknesses. He truly set the pace of our days. Even when one day he urged for me and Emma Faye to leave a park to take a nap. I didn't want to, but surrendered.. and SO thankful I did. Had a GREAT evening with the family. (He knew his girls were exhausted). He walked us through airport security and lead us to the gate. He even had forethought to grab a fastpass for me when I returned to park, since I had not be able to ride anything. Got to ride a roller coaster by myself. I was hesitant how we were going to do a buffet for one of our dinners, but he stated we were all going through it together and he made himself a plate and two other plates.. while I did mine and another. (genius) He was a hero. I know not by a lot of people's standards, but it was so relaxing to have someone plan for us. I simply followed and helped the children follow. They knew Daddy was always in front and Mommy was in the back. It was a great system. I watched my boys begin to model the leadership they witnessed from their father.. grabbing bags, reaching for Emma Faye's hand...helping me on a ride... opening doors... and holding open exit gates. Beautiful.<br />
<br />
I am sure I will remember more as the days pass and as I begin looking over our pictures. It really was Magical. Not necessarily because it was Disney (although, I am always amazed when I am there)... but just how the Lord showered simple blessings on us every day. We had an amazing time. We made amazing memories. And no, we were not perfect. Our family had our moments. We had our disputes. But EVERY DAY was redeemed. There was no wasted time. Even as Emma Faye melted down on the floor in The Land at Epcot screaming that she just wanted to go to Heardmont Park (which is a small park right down the road from us), I found the humor in that. I decided a long time ago that this trip was going to be about the kids. I was going to use the phrase, "hurry up" as least as possible. This proved to be wise. They were able to enjoy their vacation at their OWN pace. I discovered that children don't need to be impressed and wowed. They long for the simpler things. It was enough to walk around and look at the beautiful flowers at the hotel as long as we were walking together and talking about them. Perhaps this is why Jesus asks us to come as little children. We, as adults, think we need to be impressed. We want to see God move in amazing ways, when really, it's amazing enough that the leaves can change from green to bright red as Will always mentions in amazement almost every other morning as we drive to school. "I just love red trees, Mommy. How does God do that?" <br />
<br />
Disney World is great and vacations are great, but our kids don't need that. They just want our time. It's sad that adults forget this. We feel we have to leave to provide that uninterrupted attention. This is what I have taken from our trip. As we head into this Thanksgiving week, we aren't going anywhere. I am thankful. My heart is overflowing with gratitude. I am going to enjoy time with my family of six..... and it, too, can be <i>magical.</i>jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17030559836406113200noreply@blogger.com2