It's Thursday morning and I was sitting at my dining room table printing out coupons and organizing my day listening to Andrew Peterson's "Dancing in the minefields." Emma Faye and Josh have brought tents downstairs and filled them with sleeping bags. They've closed all the blinds and pushed the furniture around in such a way to create the perfect camping ground. Thomas just went down for a nap. I've become distracted by the beauty of this morning. I'm compelled to stop and take note.
This house feels like a minefield some days. Tiptoeing around explosive attitudes, outbursts of anger....the battle against my impatience, the fight for marriage.. the challenge of parenting. minefields. What if the tiptoeing were replaced with dancing? What if we were all "free" to stumble through the fields; knowing our outbursts could be absorbed and our sins would be forgiven? What if we could extend grace more? What would that look like? Would it look like "dancing"?
One night, my precious Will asked for the markers and wanted to write. This is something new. He always asked to "draw" or "color." But lately, he asks to write. He brought me a sheet of white computer paper that read, "i would travel around the Earth to tell people about God. i would do that just because of that reason."
My eyes swelled with tears and I watched his face become blurry in my view.
"That's beautiful, Will," I said and gave him a hug.
...just because of that reason.
I was left with that phrase looping in my mind. It's been circling my heart all week. What if I lived my life just because of that reason. Just because God says to do it. What if I loved my husband just because God says to? What if I forgave my children and continued pursuing their hearts pouring out unconditional love because God pours that kind of love into mine? What if I never needed a wrong righted? What if I never needed that just because God says He is the ultimate judge? Because He says He's got all of this. Because He says He loves me and is my provider and my healer and the perfecter of my faith. What if I lived life just because of that reason?
What if I viewed my greatest reward or gift I could ever gain is Jesus? What if I knew He was what everyone needs and I told people about that? What if I pursued every relationship just because of that reason.
Following Christ isn't really that complex. He made it really simple. Give up everything. Everything. Follow Him because He is Life. Not because you will be blessed with money, or because you'll never get sick, or because you will receive the perfect spouse, or even a spouse at all....or perfect children, or because you will have the perfect job or because He will make your every dream come true. Follow because He says to. Believe because His promises are true and kept. Sometimes following means dying. What if we followed just because of that reason?
A lot of my "why" questions to God are answered in one word, because. I respond in two, "because why?" Because this is your best for me? Because I did something wrong?
I'll never know His reasons this side of Heaven. I'm learning to accept His because. Because in His one word, He is really answering in three. Because His because really means...
I love you.